Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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