sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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