i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
