FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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