i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
