He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
