sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
