He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
