is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
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Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
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So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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