I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
