you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
