cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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