Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
