when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
