I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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