some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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