Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
