wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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