i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
