"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
