I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
