i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
