Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
