he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He did a backflip because drugs
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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