Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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