ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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