you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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