no. you can't hotbox the world.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
