Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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