what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
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