I bet he comes in French.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
