I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
