What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
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Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
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Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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