I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
