I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
