3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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