Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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