he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
