his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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