so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
