Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
