i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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