As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
