her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
