You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
