Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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