CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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