I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
