Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
