doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
