He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize