this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
