Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
