Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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