So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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