I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
