I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
