so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
her vagine was all disorganized.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
