Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it's like heaven, but drunker
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
