There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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