She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i think my mom watched the whole time
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
