I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
